Nohrian Scum!
by Musing Soul
Summary: In a fit of childish rage, Takumi defaces Corrin's armor. If only he knew just what the consequences of his actions would be. Rated for profanity.


"Takumi you asshole!" I had only been in Hoshido a short time, and only met my supposedly siblings a day ago, yet I knew plenty enough to know that Sakura calling someone an asshole was unusual. Still, whatever the rather confrontational Prince had done, it wasn't my problem.

Shaking my head, I leaned back against the tree I had fallen asleep against, and sighed. None of this made a lick of sense. Well, rather it made enough sense that I had to take it seriously, and that was the problem. Up until recently, I had never even considered the idea that I wasn't related to Xander, Elise, Leo and Camilla. Given what I had been exposed to of King Garon, I couldn't say that I was sorry to not be related to him, if in fact the Hoshidans were telling the truth, which I found myself still doubting.

I was shaking from my thoughts by the sounding of pounding feet, and someone heaving from breath. Looking up, I watched with no small amusement as Takumi sprinted past, his eyes wide with utter horror, alongside the glaring angry handprint on his face.

"This is all your fault!" He shouted at me on the way passed.

I rolled my eyes. Whatever else he did, he deserved that slap, I decided, wondering who it was the slapped him. Sakura didn't seem to have the physical strength to hit that hard, although Hinoka no doubt did. Camilla's Hoshidan counterpart seemed to take her skill in battle just as seriously, much like Ryoma struck me as a more refined, princely version of Xander in some respects.

Takumi and Leo didn't seem as similar, although I supposed that might have been because Takumi seemed to outright hate my guts. He regularly referred to anyone from Nohr as 'scum', and I suspected the only reason he had not called me as much to my face was fear of his, our?, mother.

"Takumi!" Sakura's voice shattered my thoughts again, and I looked up to find the youngest princess of Hoshido running pell mell towards me. "Corrin, have you seen Takumi?" She asked, between gasps for air.

I nodded. "He came sprinting past here a minute ago, looking as though a dragon was after him." I replied shrugging. "What happened to him anyways? It looked like someone had just out and out slapped him?"

There was a long pause, during which Sakura's eyes grew progressively wider. I frowned, pushing myself up from my sitting position. "Sakura?" I tried not to seem to prying, but the younger girl didn't seem okay. "Are you alright?"

Mutely, she shook her head back and forth, as her breathing became increasingly erratic. I frowned. What the hell was going on? All she'd done was call Takumi an asshole, which in all fairness, he kinda was.

"What's wrong?" This was so weird, I thought. I had no clue how to handle this situation. This would be so much easier if I was back in Nohr. Camilla never had emotional breakdowns in public, and I knew that the threat of finding Selena to 'comfort' her was enough to stop anything in its track, according to Xander. I'm not sure it was even possible to unsettle Xander. Leo was, well, Leo was himself. Elise was the only one of my siblings to have a chance of breaking down like this, but that wouldn't take long to figure out. For one, I could just ask, and two giving her a hug, and a few words of 'wisdom' that I totally wouldn't borrow from Xander would solve the problem entirely. Here though, I was utterly out of my depth.

"I….I…" She stammered. "I…IslappedTakumi!" The words all blended together in a giant rush, being released on the exhaling end of her hyperventilation. It took me a moment to process what she said, and break it down.

For a moment, I reevaluated my mental image of Sakura. To slap someone that hard was no mean feat, even was extremely angry. I couldn't remember why now, but I had seen Flora slap Jakob for something before, as hard as the Maid could, and it left comparatively little mark. I had to shudder thinking just how hard Sakura must have slapped her brother.

"What for?" Whatever his crime was, it had to have been fairly impressive. Flora had slapped a stablehand for proposing to her once, but that seemed utterly ridiculous. Even Camilla, who flirted outrageously with me, knew that incest wasn't the sort of thing that was societally accepted.

Or maybe Camilla didn't? I shook that thought off. I could be disturbed by Camilla's affections later. I had other issues to sort out now.

Sakura was not gaining any better control of herself.

"Sakura." I spoke with a bit more force that normal, causing the girl to jump. "Deep breaths." She nodded slowly, giving me a shaky smile. After another minute, and she managed to level her breathing out. "Now, what did Takumi do that you slapped him for?" I paused. "And called him an asshole."

Sakura went sheet white and swayed on her feet. I groaned inwardly. Damnit. The question wasn't complicated. Even in the midst of a hysterical fit, Elise could at least answer questions. I stepped forwards, placing my hands on her shoulders.

"He…" She gulped. "Why did I do that?" I groaned, as the panic attack seemed to start all over again. "I shouldn't have done that!" She shook her head frantically.

"Sakura!" I cut her off again. "Can you tell me why you slapped Takumi? I'm reasonably sure he deserved it."

She took another breath. "You…You don't know?" Her eyes were wide. I didn't know? I didn't know what? That this whole thing was an elaborate joke, and Takumi was planning my death even now? Then again, he probably was planning my death even this if this whole being related to them thing wasn't a joke.

"Know what?" I frowned, trying not to panic.

"L-l-l-look at the back of you're a-a-armor." Sakura stammered. I frowned, wondering how the hell I was supposed to be able to see my own back. I twisted as far as the plating would allow, and froze. There, at the lower portion of my back was a splotch of red standing out starkly against the grey of the metal.

"He painted my armor." I all but growled. Sakura nodded, her eyes widening more and more. I snarled. That little prick. Blood related or not, he was a prick.

"He…" She gulped. "He painted Nohrian Scum on the back." She muttered. "I'm sorry! I didn't know! We don't think-!"

I cut her off gently. "It isn't your fault Sakura." I replied gently, pushing all of my anger aside for a moment. Sakura looked up, her eyes wide. "I don't blame you for Takumi being a prick."

"Y-You don't?" She sounded relieved. I shook my head.

"Nope." Stepped back for a moment, I took a deep breath. "Now, I need to go have a chat with Takumi." I felt a bit of cruelty slip into my smile. "I'll bring him to you afterwards, how's that sound?" Sakura nodded. I don't think she realized that I didn't intend to bring Takumi quite…whole.

Turning, I started to walk in the direction Takumi had fled. I saw no need to rush, as there was only a short distance to the walls of the castle in this direction.

When I was certain Sakura was out of earshot, I gave a vicious snarl. Who the hell did that prick think he was? Going and painting Nohrian Scum on my armor?

It sounded incredibly dumb, but I placed a great deal of sentimental value on my armor. Being locked up in that cold northern fortress with very few possessions had made me fiercely protective of the ones I did have, and my armor especially.

Xander and Leo had given me my armor on the day that Xander told me he was going to teach me how to fight. Whiel that was not a pleasant experience, my armor held great personal value. And now that little Hoshidan prick though he'd be funny and paint down it's back did he?

"Hello Corrin." I stepped onto the shore of the lake that I had first met Azura on. She offered me a soft smile. "I assume you are looking for Takumi." She smile changed a little, become colder.

"Yes." I nodded. I was unsure what I thought of Azura. She was, I supposed the only one here I judged on their own merits, as she had no analogue on the Nohrian side of the border. Or maybe I was her analogue? I shrugged that off. Azura was an excellent singer, and carried the aura that suggested angering her was very very bad.

"Follow me." Her smile was serene, her posture confident. Feeling a bit confused, I followed her around the lake's edge before coming to a tree.

There, dangling from a branch with his feet just off the ground was Takumi. Dangling from the collar of his tunic, he looked less than royal, with a matching slap on his other cheek, a busted lip, and dirt and rips in his clothing.

"Impressive." I remarked, taking in the scene. Azura stood beside me, her same soft smile never wavering. "Out of curiosity, how did you get him in the tree?" I asked.

She shrugged. "He jumped when I kicked him just right, and got himself stuck." I blinked, and winced at the implication. "Out of curiosity, why are you hunting for him?"

I gestured to my back. "Prick thought ruining my armor would be a good idea." I glared at him. Azura leaned back, taking my armor. "You appear to have done most of my work for me however."

She shrugged. "He'll wake up in a moment. I didn't hit him that hard."

I nodded, before stepping forwards, raising my arm to slap him, before I stopped, and considered. Suddenly, I had a much better idea.

Slowly, Takumi's eyes opened, and he started flailing about, quickly realizing his predicament.

"I wouldn't bother." I stepped into his field of view my tone conversational. "That branch is quite sturdy, and you're more likely to break your leg falling than get free unharmed." I smiled a bit. "If you stop struggling, I might be willing to help you down, but I don't' fancy having my nose broken."

For a moment, his eyes flashed with utter terror, before he relaxed. "Fine. Just get me down." He glared, although he eyes continued to dart about frantically.

"Of course." I reached up over his head, grabbing his collar, and lifting him free. As he fell, I stepped forwards, and drove my knee upward.

A piercing scream of pain filled the air. Takumi keeled sideways, eyes wide as saucers, and rolled back in his head. I watched him hit the ground with a thump with a sort of dispassionate amusement. That scream was painful though.

"I'm tempted to do that again as punishment for that scream." I informed him blandly. Azura laughed, a melodious sound. "Did you really think I wouldn't notice you painting something down my armor?" I growled, kneeling next to the cringing Takumi. His eyes continued to widen. "Or maybe you thought I wouldn't care? Or, maybe still, you thought you could get rid of me?" The shift in his eyes suggested yes. "I'll leave you to explain that to your sisters." I was reasonably sure my smile was cruel. "Or your older brother." At every word, Takumi paled further and further.

Giving him a single, cold glare, I spun on my heel, and swept away. Getting this paint off my armor would take ages.

* * *

"I'll make you a deal Xander." My adopted older brother arched an eyebrow from atop his horse. My other adopted siblings were watching in trepidation, while my blood siblings, minus Takumi looked sad. I think they had figured it out. Ryoma's angry glances in Takumi's directional suggested he had.

"That being?" No doubt, he knew something was afoot, but luckily he played along.

I pointed at Takumi. "Break his nose." Everyone sort of jumped. Xander's eyebrows arched. "He's a prick. The rest of them are nice, I like them. He's a prick." I repeated, as though that justified random requests for violent acts.

Ryoma gave a long sigh. "You are set on this Corrin?" He asked. Hinoka's eyes widened in a comical manner.

"What! You're just letting her leave!" She shouted at Ryoma, who just shrugged helplessly.

"Hinoka!" I cut off her building rant. "I'll come visit or something, I promise." I gave her a quick smile. "Just have to sort out some family issues." Xander gave me a pointed glare that promised more questions later, but he urged his horse forwards. "I'll see you later." I bowed to Ryoma, which he returned, although his eyes were sad. None the less, I got the feeling the wise Hoshidan prince understood where I was coming from.

"Come on Big Brother." I gave Xander a smile.

"Oh Darling!" Camila enveloped me in a hug, although mercifully did not suffocate me in her chest, as she had occasionally done when I was younger. "I'm so glad to see your safe!"

"It's good to see you too Camilla." I gave her a smile, before glancing back over at the Hoshido group. Sakura and Hinoka were giving Takumi death glares. It appeared Ryoma had filled them in.

"I'll see you later." I repeated, before giving Azura a glance. "Azura, make sure no one dies over there please? I do actually like you guys." She nodded, offering me a sad smile of understanding as well.

"We are done here?" Xander asked. Ryoma gave a nod, and Xander wheeled his horse about. "Come one, let's get home." I nodded giving him a quick smile.

* * *

"So, you're saying what exactly?" Leo demanded, his expression one of utter confusion. I shrugged.

"The Hoshidan royals aren't bad people Leo. Except for Takumi. He's a prick." I shrugged. "Painted the back of my armor to say Nohrian Scum."

There was a long silence, as Leo and Xander traded looks. "He did what." The replied in perfect, eerie tandem. I repeated myself.

As one, my brothers turned, and walked from the room with blank expressions. Everyone watched them leave in confusion.

"Er…big sister?" Elise asked, her confusion evident. I shrugged.

"I have no idea. All I know is that they don't look amused." I shrugged. "Takumi's a prick. Azura already beat the snot out of him." I grinned at the memory.

* * *

 **AN: Okay, so I have no excuse for this bucket of nonsense. Well, I do sort of. AuraOfTwilight showed me a thing that basically became the impetus for this…whatever it is. It started with Takumi doing something that made Corrin have Nohrian Scum written on them somewhere. Then it just spiraled into Sakura calling Takumi an asshole…. And somehow this whole completely silly thing was born. I'm pretty sure about 90% of it doesn't actually stick to Canon, I'm pretty sure I called Corrin both male and female? Oh, and I'm also pretty sure none of it actually made sense.**

 **Heh. I can actually justify all the shit about Corrin choosing a side almost. Given that Corrin has pretty limited human contact, and thus is going to have a pretty inflated mental image of the people they did have contact with. Ergo, Jakob/Felecia/Nohr siblings, and anyone who badmouths them is probably going to end up on Corrin's shitlist. Thus, Takumi ends up being the reason that Corrin goes to Nohr. Or at least that was the logic I used at like midnight when I wrote it. I admit to nothing!**


End file.
